The Tao of Martha My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never

10 thoughts on “The Tao of Martha My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog

  1. Melki Melki says:

    I worship Martha Stewart I see her as our nation's overachieving older sister Like I might resent her a tiny bit but mostly I'm in awe of how she makes everything look so damn easyI've been called the Martha Stewart of Central Pennsylvania than once Okay twice Both times were by book club members impressed with my table laden with sumptuous desserts and my impeccably decorated house Little did they suspect that the desserts started life as boxes of cake and brownie mix and that the other 364 days of the year when I'm not hosting book club my carpets are smothered by an inch of Golden Retriever fur and my well chosen uirky knick knacks languish under a coating of dust Though Martha's counters may gleam every day of the year mine do not BUT what I have learned from her teachings is how a Herculean effort in the art of subterfuge can create the appearance of a well appointed well organized and well scrubbed home Go ahead take a whiffThe potpourri does an excellent job of covering the bullshitMy point I suppose is that anyone can pull it together to fake perfection for an evening but what would it be like to actually LIVE like Martha for one whole year?Humorist Jen Lancaster decided to take that challenge and this book chronicles her successes and failures Some of them are pretty funny I particularly enjoyed the attempt made by Jen and her long suffering husband Fletch to create a magical Martha Easter Instead of hard boiling the eggs for coloring Jen decided to blow the yolks out Let's just say pretty much everything went wrong and the couple ended up with eleven eggs out of six dozen More fun times are had the next morning when Jen's well intentioned children's egg hunt devolved into a frenzied brawl I wish of the book had been like this episode in other words efforts to recreate specific Martha isms and less tales of Jen's massive menagerie I LOVE animals but reading about the joys and travails of cats and dog ownership was NOT the reason I picked up this bookStill there are a lot of fun times and good things to be had here I appreciate Jen's sense of humor and sportsmanship so I'll go with four stars though the last one is kind of crooked and not covered in glitter We foolish mortals will never ever be like Martha but it doesn't hurt to try

  2. Diane Diane says:

    This is a humorous memoir about the year Jen Lancaster tried to be like Martha Stewart She focused on getting her house organized throwing festive parties doing crafts and spending time bakingI realize Martha Stewart isn't everyone's icon but she is mine I love her because instead of lording her superior skills over everyone and making them feel bad about themselves she's out there breaking it all down for even the least talented among usJen was inspired by Gretchen Rubin's year long project book The Happiness Project a memoir that I loved and she thought that following Martha's principles would make her happier but her project isn't nearly as organized or as well planned as Gretchen's was The Tao of Martha has several laugh out loud stories and I also enjoyed the photos that Jen included of her various projects and pets but there aren't any life changing lessons in the anecdotes I admit I had hoped for a substantive memoir but at least I could get that by rereading Gretchen's bookFavorite PassageLancaster remembers an episode from the reality show Ice Loves Coco in which the couple is looking at new housesOne place had an amazing guest room but that was a deal breaker for Ice Great guest rooms are so welcoming that they encourage people to stay awhile and Ice found that problematic He said he wanted his guest room to express the sentiment “Don’t get too comfortable here; motherfuckers need to leave”

  3. Kim Weiss Kim Weiss says:

    This is my least favorite Lancaster book It's like it's written by a different person Her debut memoir Bitter is the New Black is my favorite memoir because of Jen's snarky writing style AND the conflict in the situations of the book Sadly most people have been unemployed and frustrated in looking for a job Even if Jen's sarcasm was occasionally grating she and her also unemployed husband were still sympathetic characters Ten years later not so much There's no conflict and Jen's writing style seems muted possibly because her trademark footnotes have been discontinued for e readers This book is basically about an affluent couple who buys things in upscale stores what they buy and how nice they are in the dream house Yawn It's a nice book I suppose if you like books by perfect people about their perfect lives and all the nice things they own

  4. Ciara Ciara says:

    it was kind of sobering to read this book realize that cranking out a humorous memoir every year has enabled jen to buy a pretty fancy house with extra bedrooms a great room fifty rosebushes an in ground swimming pool hire her husband as her assistant still have money leftover to outfit a prepper den in her basement pay for several years of oncology for her dog drop money on random shit like duvet covers multiple christmas trees i had no idea that the publishing industry was still so lucrative for some people she mentions at one point doubling her workload by writing fiction specifically to make money that bothered me a little because there are so many people out there who would love to publish fiction because they enjoy writing it they feel they have a story to tell etc etc not just for a paycheck buti guess jen isn't exactly standing there with her hand out demanding that people pay her if she's found a way to make publishing pay her ever increasing billsgood for her i guess?this is a bit of a stunt memoir in that it's about jen's attempts to model her life after martha stewart's home organizing tips i am a sucker for pretty much anything involving home organizing why i just cleaned out re organized my baby closet two hours ago assuming that my baby continues to sleep my next goal for the day is to wash the inside of my refrigerator so i rather enjoyed that aspect of it little as i could relate to the insane degree of conspicuous consumption but jen's dog dies halfway through the book it kind of casts a pall over the whole thing she starts going on about the tao of maisy it feels pretty shoehorned in honestly doesn't really make a lick of sense i feel for her my cat just died a few months ago i spent like an entire month crying i don't know jen's books are always very readable have this weird ability to suck me in i'm not proud but this one was kind of light on the joy humor

  5. Meg Meg says:

    Jen Lancaster is fantastic I discovered her long after the Bitter Is The New Black days but eagerly devoured her entire catalog faster than you can say beloved pit pulls I find her wit hilarious and refreshing and she's an author I love so fiercely that I'll pick up her latest without even reading the book's summarySo it was with The Tao of Martha though the subject of Jen's stunt memoir is clear from the title In an effort to clean up her rough edges Jen embarks on a uest to channel Martha by organizing her home revamping her recipes starting new hobbies and much If Martha is so Zen and nonplussed surely following her instructions for living and crafting will help her get there too?Though I went into Tao ready to chuckle along with Jen's latest antics I just found the book to be lacking Her battles in the garden attempts to sculpt a magnificent trick or treating experience for neighborhood kids and poignant stories of losing a beloved dog were well told and worth the price of admission but on the whole the humor and sparkle I expect from Jen was missingThe story felt forced I don't know how else to explain my feelings Jen is obviously not Martha Stewart because you know none of us are a fact popularized by magazines and bloggers everywhere Being Not Martha is its own thing in fact and a website We all know Martha is the shining beacon of all mere mortals can never accomplish and many embrace and even celebrate their imperfections and not Martha ness So I guess I was waiting for something ? Jen does experience growth and actually finds she enjoys some of new hobbies but it wasn't enoughSadly I just never felt attached to her journey plain and simple But I still love you Jen And I'll still be eager to get my paws on whatever she whips up next If you're new to Lancaster's works Bitter Is The New Black is still my favorite read

  6. Musiquedevie Musiquedevie says:

    I am a huge Jen Lancaster fan who gives 5 stars to all of her booksuntil this one While 'The Tao of Martha' is still a good book and one I'll re read again I'm sure it wasn't by far Jen's best effort I read other fans' reviews on here to see what the general consensus was and it was verifying to read that I wasn't the only Jen fan disappointed in this novel for a variety of similar reasons A big reason why I think Jen's works are so successful is because of her realness her down to earth way of writing and her hilarious snark For the most part of this novel all 3 of those ualities are missing The theme is lightly woven throughout the book and often you can easily forget the whole point of it as it seems of an afterthought than a vocal point Plus while I'm happy she has had great success and rightfully so the relatability she used to have to her readers isn't all there unless you too can afford to shop freuently at Whole Foods and spend money on alpaca wool to knit expensive scarves for your friends It was an overall good fun read but one that was uite honestly disappointing for this loyal fan I still can't wait to read her new fiction novel out next year but I hope her next memoir won't feel as forced or as unrelatable

  7. Nicole Nicole says:

    I've never been a Martha fan but I like Jen Lancaster so I got this book It's just okay There are a few funny parts but most of it is hard for the average reader to relate to For example when Jen wants to have a party she calls people to clean the house and pool takes linens to the dry cleaners and shops at Williams Sonoma and Whole Foods When Jen wants to garden her rose guy doesn't show her how to prune the sixty rose plants she already has; instead he plants her a cutting garden And of course he's just in charge of the roses The rest of the yard is taken care of by a team of landscapers One of Jen's prized pit bulls has cancer so she spends thousands of dollars on chemo emergency vets and hydrotherapy Jen has lots of first world problems that are solved by thinking like Martha does This might work for someone who has a lot of free time and money so that she can think about how organizing her closets with matching jars from The Container Store brings a sense of Zen calm but just left me uninspired I didn't enjoy the book and have no renewed desire to declutter my junk drawer Meh

  8. Bonnie Bonnie says:

    My rating 25 of 5 stars 'ready or not happiness here I come'Organization happiness? That's what Jen Lancaster has set out to prove Her life is in dire need of some organization not just within her house but in her life in general and she thinks that in doing so she'll be less stressful and have happiness She decides to emulate the ueen of Organization Martha Stewart The Tao of Martha is her personal accounting of incorporating Martha's ideals into her daily life both when it goes right and when it goes horribly wrongHaving read all of Jen's memoirs it's become a reuirement to pick any new ones up even if they have steadily declined over the years I'm thinking it's a combination of lack of new material that's actually worth writing about and a dramatic change in lifestyle from what we originally saw in her first memoir 'Bitter is the New Black' In 'Bitter' Jen is a much relatable person as she's struggling to survive as her and her husband both are unemployed With each memoir she is slowly transforming into the person who talks only of her cleaning ladies monumentally expensive landscaping plans and her shopping excursions to affluent stores that I couldn't even afford to breathe the air of While the writing still manages to sustain somewhat the snark that we've all come to know and love the stories have become achingly superficial Prime example 'Shoot I haven't even reserved an organic turkey yet I'll take 'The Most OverPrivileged First World Complain to Ever Be Uttered' for a hundred Alec'Admitting that you're being shallow still doesn't make it funnyWhile there were a few laugh out loud moments I found the majority of 'Tao' to be incredibly boring Early in the beginning there's a 7 page accounting of her cleaning her desk which includes an itemized description of everything she had stored from over the years Considering she just movedbought her house a few years ago all this excessive garbage she dragged to the new house makes it even less funny Like the broken wine glass shards Really? One thing I've always loved about her memoirs is how each chapter is a story in and of itself but in 'Tao' again wondering if she was just running out of material there were several stories that lacked any sort of point and entertainment value and a few stories that were entirely way too personal and included info I would rather just not know Like the chapter where we receive entirely way too much info regarding her digestive system Or the chapter where she discusses her massive love for zucchini for several pages Or the bit how she's attempting to figure out why her roses are dying when her friend points out that she probably shouldn't be watering them with a high pressure hose duh? While the funnies were lacking in consistency this was still a fun and easy read that also managed to teach me a few things 15 pounds of Easter candy for 9 kids bad math When gardening make sure you don't wear your older underwear so ticks can't crawl up and attach themselves to your lady parts If I start stocking up on emergency rations six jars of marshmallow fluff is not essential If my doctor ever prescribes me Ambien I'm chaining myself to the bed

  9. Kathy Kathy says:

    Well I think I would like Jen Lancaster in person all her bubbly self deprecatory pitbull loving self I thinkAnd because I think I'd like Jen if she were really my cool friend who was struggling with trying to emulate Martha I'd likely be on the sidelines cheering and determined to give her five stars one for the pitbulls one for the effort one for the small bits of humor one for her attempts at honesty and one just becauseBut it's really a 3 star book for me sorryNow true confession even in the years in which I lived in a handbuilt slightly falling down tarpaper covered cabin with three babies and a zillion cats and dogs and my earnestly political partner I would sneak peeks at magazines like Martha's dreaming of a time in which my life would be pretty and organized Didn't fit really well of course given that there I was trying to boil the cloth diapers for my babies and hang them outside avoiding the deer and bears and working on getting the political newspaper that would Save the World done butI understand the longingThe thing about Jen's book though is that while it chronicles that year of LIVING it ultimately seems spotty and classist and shallow She is constantly setting forth to buy her way to organization and peace And this overides the warm heart of moments like her time with Maisie the pitbull confession the store manager of my bookshop is a rescued pit named Champ Plus this book is terribly ephemeral Her pop culture references are already moving to out of date status And that's sadBut I wish her wellOh PS I read an ARC And I truly hope that the very fuzzy photos in my copy will be replaced by stunning full color excitingly crisp ones in the actual published for sale book It would be a good thing

  10. Corey Corey says:

    When I see Jen's books on my picks for Vine I do a happy dance because there are few authors that I look forward to as much as her I've especially missed her over the past year or so since her blog posts have been waning and her Ambien fueled twitter binges have seemed to come to a stop the reason behind this is explained in this book BTW While she's still out there and has had a few wars on Facebook she's not been around so much and she's definitely a person that I can always count on to make me smile with her wit So when I saw this book in my list of the month I clicked on that sucker as fast as possible and stalked the UPS man until it landed in my lap and proceeded to devour it in a day This latest installment in Jen's memoirs may be my favorite I can't uite put a finger on it but I think it's because it's the most balanced of all of her memoirs Most of them are non stop laughs which don't get me wrong I enjoy but this latest installment has not only the laughs but it is tempered by real life problems such as a sick beloved pet and health scares Sometimes life isn't all fun and games and I think I liked reading a book that had the full range of what life in a year is really like This book had me laughing out loud but it also had me crying damn you Jen and I think that's why I really liked this oneThe Tao of Martha follows Jen in her uest for 2012 embrace Martha Stewart in everything from cooking to organizing to decorating and everything in between I'm kind of in awe of how well the year went for Jen and it makes me think that maybe just maybe I'm not too far gone in my slovenly ways to be saved by Martha ing up my house too I don't know that I'll go as far as hitting up The Container Store and making my own labels but it's fun to read about your average every day person turning themselves around in a year with a side of wit of course If you're a fan of Jen Lancaster I think you'll definitely enjoy this latest book Bonus? Not a single blog post has been used Not that it bothered me in the past but I know a lot of people were Bonus of the bonus? Copious amounts of pictures? Finally the Martha Stewart buttercream on the cake? NO MORE FOOTNOTES Now you can read this book on your Kindle without any finagling or cursing throws confetti

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The Tao of Martha My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog ➻ The Tao of Martha My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog Free ➱ Author Jen Lancaster – One would think that with Jen Lancaster’s impressive list of bestselling self improvement memoirs—Bitter Is the New Black; Bright Lights Big Ass; Such a Pretty Fat; Pretty in Plaid; My Fair Lazy; One would think that with Jen of Martha PDF Ë Lancaster’s impressive list of bestselling self improvement memoirs—Bitter Is the New Black; Bright Lights Big Ass; Such a Pretty Fat; Pretty in Plaid; My Fair Lazy; and Jeneration X—that she would have it all together by nowOne would be wrong Jen’s still a little rough The Tao Epub / around the edges Suffice it to say she’s no Martha Stewart And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender infused lemonadeBy immersing herself in Martha’s media empire Jen will embark Tao of Martha PDF/EPUB Á on a yearlong uest to take herself her house her husband and maybe even her pets to the next level—from closet organization to craft making from party planning to kitchen prepMaybe Jen can go four days without giving herself food poisoning if she follows Martha’s dictates on proper storageMaybe she can grow Tao of Martha My Year PDF or closer to her girlfriends by taking up their boring ass hobbies like knitting and sewingMaybe she can finally rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha’s laundry tips Maybe she can create a meaningful anniversary celebration than just getting drunk in the pool with her husbandagain And maybe just maybe she’ll discover that the key to happiness does in fact lie in Martha’s perfectly arranged cupboards and artfully displayed charcuterie Tao of Martha My Year PDF or plattersOr maybe not.

  • Hardcover
  • 335 pages
  • The Tao of Martha My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
  • Jen Lancaster
  • English
  • 24 March 2016
  • 9780451417633

About the Author: Jen Lancaster

Jen Lancaster is the author of of Martha PDF Ë her own memoirs including as Bitter is the New Black Bright Lights Big Ass Such A Pretty Fat Pretty in Plaid My Fair Lazy and the newest Jeneration X She has also dabbled with fiction in her first book If You Were Here.