I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats PDF/EPUB


I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats [BOOKS] ✫ I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats By Francesco Marciuliano – Natus-physiotherapy.co.uk Cat lovers will laugh out loud at the uirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats In this hilarious book of tongue in cheek poetry th Cat lovers Pee on eBook ¸ will laugh out loud at the uirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats In this hilarious book of tongue in cheek poetry the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap This Is My Chair Kneel Before Me Nudge and Some of I Could Kindle - My Best Friends Are Dogs the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the Could Pee on This And ePUB í inner workings of the cat psyche With photos of the cat authors throughout this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest and most exasperating but always lovable.


10 thoughts on “I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats

  1. karen karen says:

    another stupid book i feel i need to own i saw this one at BEA but they didn't have any free copies because they knew i would buy it eventually they knew so i glumly accepted my promotional postcard and waited for it to come out and here we are i am glum no longer it is cats writing poems real cats with pictures of cats this calls to me like candy i exclaimsome of the cats are better at writing poems than others to be sure and they are written in a variety of forms showing the true diversity of cat poets but what i have learned is that cats abhor punctuation which is strange there are no periods at the end of any of the lines which is curiousit's not like i don't understand what the poems mean without punctuation it is just an unusual oversighthere are some of my favorites i will include pictures of cats but not the same cats from the book because i don't want to give you too many spoilers and i managed to find a place on the internet where there were pictures of cats i have amazing reseach abilitiessushidid you really thinkthat you could hide fish in rice?oh the green paste burnsnudgenudgenudge nudge nudgenudge nudge nudge nudge nudge nudge nudgeyour glass just shattered on the floortiny boxestiny boxesplay and hidetiny boxessueeze insidetiny boxescozy heretiny boxespaw in eartiny boxesstuckSTUCKSTUCKtiny boxeslittle help?that top shelfi think i can jump to that top shelfi want to jump to that top shelfi know i can jump to that top shelfi am jumping to that top shelfi missed that top shelf by a good six feetand now everything is on the floorand i'm left wonderingwhy people even bother buying chinaif it breaks so easilydid you knowdid you know?did you see? did you count?how many timesi had to smack that mothon your foreheadwith my paw?it was like a thousandhe's dead now thoughdefinitely deadone smackyou're welcomethis is my chairthis is my chairthis is my couchthis is my bedthis is my benchthis is my chaisethis is my seteethose are my footstoolsthose are my rugseveryhere is my place to sleepperhaps you should just get a hotel roomthis one is just terrifying why has there never been a lifetime movie about the sinister relationship between cats and women??unbridled lovei knead your chest with my sharp clawsto show you my affectioni bite your arm and don't let goto show you adorationi walk across your throat at nightbecause i want to say helloi leap from high upon your crotchbecause i miss you soi trip you when you walk down the stairsso you know i'm always neari sit on your face and block all your airso my absence you need not feari show my love in so many waysmy devotion runneth overso i don't know why when i approachyou duck and run for coverthere are many wonderful poems within be a sucker like meand if you are a dog lover please go herecome to my blog


  2. Jason Koivu Jason Koivu says:

    This really makes you thinkand wanna smoosh fuzzy faces Yes these cat penned poems are structurally unsound The iambic pentameter is a mess but oh how ADORABLE You really have to be uite impressed with their mastery of the English language and did they dictate these or can they type as well? Oh the SUEEE of it all Though perhaps this collection poses uestions than answers it is thoroughly enjoyable I mean to see into the inner thoughts of a feline and really feel their true emotions is something special But don't take my word for itI Lick Your NoseI lick your noseI lick your nose againI drag my claws down your eyelidsOh you're up? Feed mePure genius And now an irresistibly cute kitten


  3. Kelly (and the Book Boar) Kelly (and the Book Boar) says:

    Find all of my reviews at plan for this evening was to read the second volume of Locke and Key but then this happened So I decided to give I Could Pee on This a gander in order to prevent interrupting the cat's 14th nap of the dayMany of you are probably aware that I really like odd little books You may also know that I have a fondness for animals both living and dead What you may be worried about is what happens to my pets when they cross over the Rainbow Bridge Rest your minds I don't stuff them and mount them on the wall Instead I cremate them put them up on the bookshelf and add their picture along with a tribute book next to their cremains Our dead cat's Vinnie Van Gogh RIP book had been How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You but My Dog the Paradox was up there next to the dead dog and it was getting to be a bit too Oatmealish for one shelfAlthough the poems contained in this little book weren't all winners it still provided some ha has and will hopefully reduce a bit of that oh my God how F'd up are you with this room of doom???? that some experience upon entering my houseFaves included Duh right?Self Affirmation Had to use a stuntcat for this image remember napping was in progressand Your Keyboard 'Cause if your house is anything like my house once you try to sit down at the computer in order to blog out a Pulitzer worthy book review your cat does this Recommended as a gift for your weird catlady friend Oh and in case you're wondering I can read my graphic novel now I just can't put my pjs on because of Yep Napping is happening on top of them Look he cloned himself


  4. Carol Carol says:

    If you've ever been owned by a feline friend you'll appreciate and enjoy this book of poems narrated by a cat Many are laugh out loud funny and oh so true Over many decades of living with these supreme creatures I have received many little giftsalive and dead have witnessed uite a few hairball episodes and caught Maggie just a week ago dipping her paw into my just poured glass of milk they are so dam fast and sneaky My favorite verse besides Nudge is I'm Not Paranoid if you've ever had to give a cat a pill you will totally understandcracked me up Clever and amusing these 114 short pages bring smiles and laughter but one subject dear to my hands was missingtrimming cat claws Suggested Title SNIP SCRATCH BITESNIP SCRATCH BITESNIP SCRATCH BITEOuch smile


  5. Manny Manny says:

    This bookYou can't eat itYou can't kill itYou can't tear it to piecesSo what's all the fuss about?Wake me when you've figured it out


  6. Marvin Marvin says:

    I read this book to my three cats and a guest cat Here are their mostly unsolicited commentsT S Eliot eat yer heart out Maslow the Wonder CatA book of great social relevancebecause I peed on it AshleyThe book needs poems and less fur Mojo Jojo the SphinxScrew the book Where's dinner? FanciThis is a very funny book with poems by very talented cats who actually know how to spell Each poem catches a particular feline nuance that will be instantly recognizable to the cat personClosed DoorsLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME INLET ME IN LET ME IOh uh helloI didn't expect an answerI did not expect an entranceI did not expect this room to beso unbelievably dullSo uh goodbyeIf you think that is hilarious you are a cat person and need this book If you don't I hope you love your dogOK so it is not T S Eliot But what did he know about cats anyways? As Maslow once said Any one who names a cat Rum Tum Tugger needs a hairball in their shoes


  7. Florencia Florencia says:

    Suck on that Baudelaire Now this is what I call real heartfelt poetry Cats had the need of explaining themselves of sharing their thoughts and feelings through these amazing poems Outstanding work honestly One of my favorites was WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?Why are you screaming?What did I do wrong?Why are you crying?How can I make it right?Would you like it in a different color?Would you like it in a different size?Would you like it in a different room?I just wanted to show my loveI just wanted to express my thanksI just wanted to put a dead mouse on your sheetsBut now you are screamingAnd I don't know how to make you stopIt reminded me of a good anecdote that I have already mentioned when my cat broke that 80 year old set of cups Now I can picture him looking at me saying “Why are you screaming? What did I do wrong?”Oh wait this one describes the scene beautifullyTHAT TOP SHELFI think I can jump to that top shelfI want to jump to that top shelfI know I can jump to that top shelfI am jumping to that top shelfI missed that top shelf by a good six feetAnd now everything is on the floorAnd I'm left wonderingWhy people even bother buying chinaIf it breaks so easilyAnother one that I liked was “Separation” It is a touching poem about love and jealousy When I think of jealousy I think of Othello but recently while reading Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov I found an interesting passage that explained how Othello actually was a trustful man according to Pushkin People pushed the idea of deceit on him simply too much That does not happen with the truly jealous man who is ready to hide spy and do shameful things that reach the point of moral degradation Anyway it is an interesting point of view and cats are also capable of these kind of thinking process Hence this poemSEPARATIONYou can have the CDsI will take the stringYou can have the TVI will take this fuzzy thingYou can have the kitchen setI will take this crumpled foilYou can have the carI will keep this rug I soilYou can have the beach houseI will take this tissue boxYou can have everythingOoo I want those dirty socksYou can go to hell I will see to thatFor how dare you come homesmelling of another cat?There are of these powerful poems that show us how cats are affected by say a move a leash “The Leash” so funny a castration “Seriously” hilarious a bath an irritated human look because he almost falls thanks to a cat between the legs when that is just another way to show affection unless the cat is really trying to kill you For tips read this oneIt is not just about family these talented felines also wrote poems aboutworkplayand existence It is a charming little book with hilarious poems written by talented kitties What do you want? After reading this you will be able to look at your cat straight in the eyes and say “I get it I really do get it furry face”July 23 14 Also on my blog Credit All photos from I Could Pee on This And Other Poems by Cats by Francesco Marciuliano


  8. Ellen Gail Ellen Gail says:

    I don't feel fully ualified to review a book of poetry written by cats so for this review I will be turning things over to my feline masters Penny Chloe Take it away furballsChloeI could not eat itVery nice to rub my face and butt againstOh The human says I should write She seemed fairly amused by it All I know is she was enjoying something that wasn't me I planted myself on her chest and stuck my butt in her face to remind her of the glory of my furry hinduarters in comparison which oddly did not persuade her Although if the human likes it it must be worth something After all she likes me and I'm the greatest thing on the entire planetPennyIt is kind of the human to offer me the chance to contribute to the internets that she spends all day on however I must decline As I inspired Nectar of the Gods extolling my unparalleled love of sink water it would be unethical of me to review this If you are able though I could use some aid in convincing the human to run the fountain of joy 247 The cat water fountain in the kitchen just tastes different Too wateryNow if you will excuse us Chloe and I have a very important nap to attend to


  9. Hester Hester says:

    Review written by Hester's cat MollyWHAT ARE YOU READING? WHY AREN'T YOU STARING AT ME? Maybe if I get between you and that book you'll look at me instead Why are you laughing I didn't do anything funny? Go clean my litter box or I'll poop next to it again Oops I already did I guess I'll just go over here and lick myself I'll try to get between you and the book again I want attention I want attention I want attention Did I scratch you? Well good you deserved itOh you're done? YAY Sitting here with you is boring I think I'll go find some dirt and dust to lick up and then vomit and then watch you clean it up


  10. Bea Bea says:

    355 starsThis was super cute A really uick read of poetry about cats written by cats


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