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10 thoughts on “Unrequited

  1. Clelia Clelia says:

    This was the perfect book to read on Valentine's Day when I was a roiling mess of loneliness longing and self hatred I've never read much on this subject but I needed to A compassionate companionable insightful book for anyone wanting to understand why lovelust makes them feel so thoroughly insane

  2. Charlene Charlene says:

    I have read so many disappointing psychology oriented books where the authors claim to be experts but rely on bad studies and have a generally poor ability to engage in critical thinking This book by phillips was without uestion better than a lot of what I have read about narcissism and obsession Phillips uses her own experience as an obsessed stalker type to examine why women become obsessed She provides incredible references to literature at times I felt like I was back in some of the best courses I had in college pouring over Greek and Roman mythology in order to understand why society is the way it is a summary of psychological and criminological studies case studies and interviews The book is incredibly well written and Phillips comes off as a person who is not an expert but rather someone who did an incredible amount of research to understand her own experience I recommend this book to individuals who like neuroscience stalking criminology psychology obsession narcissism OCD the history of lovefeminine identity mythology narratives on being a stupid girl and the like Surprisingly good

  3. Melissa Melissa says:

    This was a well done and non judgmental book about unreuited love I definitely think it would be helpful to any women currently suffering from romantic obsession I'm not currently having that problem but I have in the past 4 times to be exact starting in high school I think this book would have been great for me to have read during any of those obsessions but even now that I'm post obsession and I have a great long term boyfriend who I'm sure loves me as much as I love him I was glad to have read this book and revisited some of my past experiencesI wasn't expecting this book to have been so PITTSBURGHISH The author's romantic obsession that she wrote about took place in Pittsburgh PA where I once lived myself In fact she writes about a time when she checked herself into the UPMC psychiatric ward during her obsession and the phychiatric resident there told her it was not uncommon for women to check themselves in over unreuited love Incredibly one of my own 4 romantic obsessions I ever had was over a UPMC psychiatric resident doctor I dated back then That seemed like too amazing of a coincidence for me not to bring up That guy totally sucked I'm so appalled at myself for ever thinking that he and I were the right match But I would say that his cruelty helped me overcome my desire for cruel men I learned from this book that such lessons are one of the good things that can come from an unreuited loveIf you enjoyed learning a bit about one of my own romantic obsessions and want to hear such stories read this book It also covers history psychology and just a touch of self help

  4. Marie-e Marie-e says:

    Almost everyone has been through a relationship breakup While some bounce back easily after an ending and go on about their lives with better understanding others seem to get stuck on an obsessive path Those folks may resort to stalking their love interest retaliating in ways intended to hurt them or engaging in other forms of undesirable behaviors ‘Unreuited Women and Romantic Obsession’ by Lisa Phillips gives both sides of the relationship exposure and clarity It deeply delves into the unreuited lover’s side and the multiple forms this subject has taken throughout history in literature the arts psychology and other fields It also examines the physiology of 'falling in love' and how ‘limerence’ as a pathology shares significant features with OCD and substance addiction There is a constant craving that cannot be fully satisfied When obsession has taken place in the mind and body of an unreuited lover no matter what the rejecter does nothing will be right unless he returns his love completely to the one who seeks it Preoccupying oneself over a former beloved after being rejected can happen How to get over it constructively without hurting others in the process is part and parcel what this author aims to share Phillips gives voice to those beneficial options To this reader respecting one’s choice to walk away from a relationship should be a right we all respect even when it takes effort In the end as the author says for the unreuited lover “rejection is mercy” I enjoyed the book a lot

  5. Z Z says:

    Well and thoughtfully researched; the author provides historical perspective on obsessive love in literature and popular culture as well as medicine and psychology The section on brain science the feeling of ‘reward’ and pleasure was particularly interesting The personal narratives of both the women involved in obsessive love and the objects of their affection vary in length but each story makes its point Educators or group discussion leaders could use the author’s examination of sexism and the ways it affects male victims’ situation even when a situation is obviously dangerous the general societal response may be disbelief sarcasm or statements that the object of stalking should be flattered or take sexual advantage of a woman to begin important classroom discussions on gender ethics and law As a librarian I’d recommend Unreuited for academic libraries as supplemental reading for gender studies sociology and psychology courses perhaps criminal justice as well although that’s not my area and for public libraries Book groups may also want to consider Unreuited

  6. Peacegal Peacegal says:

    35 stars Female stalking is a phenomenon that we rarely hear about However the author a reformed stalker has collected numerous fascinating stories on the subject Not all of the unreuited relationships were of a romantic nature and not all involve men as the target All involved bizarre behavior that often left the perpetrators stunned by what they had done In between these examples Phillips periodically takes us on a fascinating trip around the human brain to understand how alarming behavior can become a twisted sort of addiction and reward for the pursuerI also appreciated reading for the first time the true story of Lisa Marie Nowak the NASA captain infamous for her bizarrely staged attack on her ex and his girlfriend Before reading this book I and many others knew her only as the astro nut of TV jokes I actually felt pity for her after reading this

  7. Natalie Natalie says:

    Lisa A Phillip’s Unreuited blends well researched case studies with her own very personal story in this nonfictionmemoir that grapples with the power of obsessive unreuited love Phillips approaches this subject with both sympathy and frankness while she empathizes with “the unwanted woman” she never coddles; unlike many dating books she examines the difficult nuances of both being the unwanted lover and the beloved She details how both male and female stalkers are treated Most impressively Phillips intertwines her own story with research in such a way that owns up to her actions – she accepts what she did and never tries to justify it This book is a fascinating read for anyone interested in psychology gender studies or love

  8. Rosanna Leo Rosanna Leo says:

    As an author of romance novels I picked up Unreuited from a research perspective and was not disappointed Ms Phillips has penned an interesting volume on obsessive love interspersed with very brave snippets of her own story and stories from other women who felt the sting of unreuited love Fascinating and well researched

  9. Sean Beaudoin Sean Beaudoin says:

    Really smart and interesting take on relationship dynamics Obsession is such a relative term and Phillips mines it for many original and startling insights Very well studied and researched This book should be read immediately I've already bought two copies

  10. Claire Handscombe Claire Handscombe says:

    Fascinating and important Why aren't people talking about this book?

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Unrequited [Download] ➻ Unrequited By Lisa A. Phillips – Natus-physiotherapy.co.uk Blending memoir literary exposition and revealing case studies a powerful surprising and empathetic cultural and psychological exploration of one sided romantic obsessionThe summer Lisa A Phillips tur Blending memoir literary exposition and revealing case studies a powerful surprising and empathetic cultural and psychological exploration of one sided romantic obsessionThe summer Lisa A Phillips turned thirty she fell in love with someone who didn’t return her feelings She soon became obsessed She followed him around called him compulsively and talked about him endlessly One desperate morning after she snuck into his apartment building he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial Her unreuited love had changed her from a sane conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized—someone who was taking her yearning much too far In Unreuited Lisa A Phillips explores the tremendous force of obsessive love in women’s lives She argues that it needs to be understood respected and channeled for personal growth—yet it also has the potential to go terribly awry Interweaving her own story with frank interviews and in depth research in science psychology cultural history and literature Phillips describes how romantic obsession takes root grows and strongly influences our thoughts and behaviors Going beyond images of creepy fatally attracted psychos male fantasies of unbridled female desire and the platitudes of self help books Phillips reveals a powerful troubling and surprisingly common phenomenon As she illuminates this mysterious psychological experience placing it in a rich and nuanced context she offers compelling insights to help any woman who have experienced unreuited obsessive love and been mystified and troubled by its grip.