In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of

In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction ➮ [Ebook] ➩ In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction By Fred Matis ➺ – Natus-physiotherapy.co.uk Most likely, someone you know is living a life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same gender attraction In an effort to help Latter day Saints understand and reach out to those who suf Most likely, someone you know is living a Desperation: Understanding eBook ↠ life of quiet desperation, struggling with feelings of same gender attraction In an effort to help Latter day Saints understand and reach out In Quiet eBook Ñ to those who suffer from this difficulty Fred and Marilyn Matis discuss how they ve dealt with the knowledge of their son Stuart s challenge with same gender attraction, and how parents Quiet Desperation: Understanding PDF ✓ and others can reach out with love In addition, Ty Mansfield discusses his own challenge and how he continues to go forward with faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ The Lord promised that he will change our hearts, but he didn t say when, writes Mansfield He never promised it would happen in mortality He only said it would happen.


About the Author: Fred Matis

Is a well known author, some of his Desperation: Understanding eBook ↠ books are a fascination for readers like in the In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same gender Attraction book, this is one In Quiet eBook Ñ of the most wanted Fred Matis author readers around the world.



10 thoughts on “In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction

  1. Adam Adam says:

    I ve been reading Ty Mansfield s book, In Quiet Desperation, and I have to say I m quite impressed So much of what is written about homosexuality is so politically motivated that I have a hard time finding an unbiased treatment of the subject On the one hand you have those who argue that having certain tendencies or inclinations automatically justifies giving expression to those feelings through behaviors On the other hand you have those who argue that God would never be so cruel as to give I ve been reading Ty Mansfield s book, In Quiet Desperation, and I have to say I m quite impressed So much of what is written about homosexuality is so politically motivated that I have a hard time finding an unbiased treatment of the subject On the one hand you have those who argue that having certain tendencies or inclinations automatically justifies giving expression to those feelings through behaviors On the other hand you have those who argue that God would never be so cruel as to give someone a trial, an innate attraction, that might preclude him or her from marrying in this life I actually read a statement from a prominent reparative therapist who made aclaim along those lines While Mansfield is of course writing from a gospel perspective so it is biased in that sense, I like the fact that the book doesn t tout one particular therapeutic approach as the ideal, one size fits all solution I find myself skeptical of philosophies therapies that assert that just because something feels natural to someone, that he ought to give in but I also question approaches that promise the complete reversal of an orientation that is very much part of a person.In addition, I believe too much of what is written focuses on causes, whether they be biological or psychological My cursory reading of the literature leads me to believe we know very little about how a homosexual attraction develops, or even how a heterosexual attraction develops for that matter While some people may find they are described by a particular set of causes or circumstances, there are likely many different ways of arriving at a homosexual orientation Ty Mansfield s book is unique in that he makes no attempt to explain the origins of homosexuality Instead, his purpose is one of reconciliation of an overwhelmingly poorly understood challenge with the doctrines of the gospel He explains how a homosexual attraction might fit within the plan of God, a plan in which the challenges of mortality are not necessarily obliterated according to our timetable, but the Lord s The maturity of Mansfield s understanding regarding the Atonement is one that is often lacking in discussions of sexual orientation in religious spheres In responding to homosexual attraction, too often the focus is on changing orientation rather than changing our hearts to accept the Lord s will for us.I think I ve pretty much decided that even among those who deal with this issue there is a spectrum of needs, and while one approach may work for some, it may not work for all.The book also issues a call for increased compassion towards who have same gender feelings whether they decide to engage in homosexual behaviors or not I have been surprised at how many individuals, individuals whom I respect, admire, and love, have taken me into their confidence by sharing with me the fact that they deal with this.Current estimates are that approximately 5% of people have a same gender orientation I have no reason to suspect that prevalence in the church is any lower I am also surprised at the ignorance of some church members in regards to this issue I remember one acquaintance of mine at BYU who when the discussion came up of the possibility of a homosexual being in his ward he said if that were the case, he could never bring himself shake the person s hand Clearly, something needs to be done about these misunderstandings


  2. Kelly Kelly says:

    I am really tired of all the gay right crap Yet I can t stop thinking and talking about it I have heard a variety of reasons why people are gay I have never really been comfortable with any of them I found all the reasons to sound a little pathetic, to be honest I am very much a heterosexual and personally could not possibly understand how anyone could be otherwise I picked up this book to gain further understanding about people who are attracted to the same sex This book definitely se I am really tired of all the gay right crap Yet I can t stop thinking and talking about it I have heard a variety of reasons why people are gay I have never really been comfortable with any of them I found all the reasons to sound a little pathetic, to be honest I am very much a heterosexual and personally could not possibly understand how anyone could be otherwise I picked up this book to gain further understanding about people who are attracted to the same sex This book definitely served it s purpose Fred and Marilyn Matis did an excellent job explaining how they, as parents of a child who struggled with same gender attraction, coped with all of the personal baggage I would do anything to meet these parents because they sound like they truly understand Christ like love The second half of the book is written by Ty and WOW I am amazed at the inner peace this young 26 year old has He goes through numerous details of how he awful and depressed he felt, even as a young man, when he realized he wasn t like his peers Ty shares a number of very personal experience that nearly break your heart to think anyone would feel that awful about himself I felt so bad for this young man that I wept with him I couldn t imagine how he must have felt.I am so grateful I read this book I now have a better understanding of people who struggle with same gender attraction I realize people have their own opinions, but after reading this book I feel I can beunderstanding to people who struggle with same gender attraction I will never support gay marriage I still believe marriage should be between man and woman I do, however, have a better understanding of how gay people must feel In addition to understanding for same gender attraction I have also increased my understanding of personal worth I was deeply touched by the authors beliefs that we are all children of God and he loves us I have believed this since I was a little child, but this book has strengthened that knowledge in a way I can t explain I would highly recommend this book to anyone It is very insightful


  3. VeNicia VeNicia says:

    Incredible insight into the lives and hearts of faithful members of the church who struggle with the challenge of same gender attraction The authors are my friends, and the kindest of people you would ever know Fred Marilyn s son Stuart committed suicide after an intense personal struggle to try to overcome his attractions and remain faithful to what he believed in his heart to be true As I read, I listed the things I admired about Stuart, and realized when I had nearly a page full, that th Incredible insight into the lives and hearts of faithful members of the church who struggle with the challenge of same gender attraction The authors are my friends, and the kindest of people you would ever know Fred Marilyn s son Stuart committed suicide after an intense personal struggle to try to overcome his attractions and remain faithful to what he believed in his heart to be true As I read, I listed the things I admired about Stuart, and realized when I had nearly a page full, that the list could easily be retitled Characteristics I hope to Find in My Future Spouse My heart goes out to my friends who have this struggle I love them, value their friendship, and hope with all my heart that they find refuge, not ignorant rebuke, through their membership in the church


  4. Damon C Damon C says:

    Tragic and wonderful A very powerful book that anyone of the mormon faith should read


  5. RoseMary RoseMary says:

    I read this book when I found out someone close to me was a lesbian I wanted to understand her better and love her without judging her This book is a favorite book on the atonement It s content applies to everyone, not just those who struggle with same gender attraction We all have trials and struggles in this life and this book teaches incredible principles to help us get through them using the atonement of our Savior When I suggested to others they should read this book for understanding, I read this book when I found out someone close to me was a lesbian I wanted to understand her better and love her without judging her This book is a favorite book on the atonement It s content applies to everyone, not just those who struggle with same gender attraction We all have trials and struggles in this life and this book teaches incredible principles to help us get through them using the atonement of our Savior When I suggested to others they should read this book for understanding, empathy and love I couldn t believe how closed off they were They were mean and unfeeling to understanding and loving people with the struggle of same self attraction If you love someone or are someone struggling read this book


  6. Jen Jen says:

    This is one of my favorite books on the atonement It s content applies to everyone, not just those who struggle with same gender attraction We all have trials and struggles in this life and this book teaches incredible principles to help us get through them using the atonement of our Savior.


  7. Lisa Lisa says:

    This book was so insightful for me It wasn t just limited to expanding my understanding of same gender attraction particularly within the LDS Church but was helpful for me to gain a better understanding of the Atonement and it s application for various challenges that we face.


  8. Abby Abby says:

    My gay friend came and visited me a couple weeks ago from out of state I met him at BYU, wrote to him on his mission, did a roadtrip to see the Nauvoo temple open house with him, and had him at my temple wedding I love him He was finishing up his graduate degree at BYU when he decided he couldn t do it any and came out He seems pretty happy now, and he is excited about his new boyfriend So I picked up this book after his visit, wanting to find some new books on the topic I ve read a co My gay friend came and visited me a couple weeks ago from out of state I met him at BYU, wrote to him on his mission, did a roadtrip to see the Nauvoo temple open house with him, and had him at my temple wedding I love him He was finishing up his graduate degree at BYU when he decided he couldn t do it any and came out He seems pretty happy now, and he is excited about his new boyfriend So I picked up this book after his visit, wanting to find some new books on the topic I ve read a couple in the past that really intrigued me.About a week after that visit I came across a former co worker on the internet, one that I used to attend an institute class with There was a group of us who left on our lunch breaks once a week and went to this particular class, and he had just been attending a few weeks when he told me how much he loved it Other people like me really enjoyed the class, but he LOVED this class He was so passionate about it that it kind of surprised me a little bit, and the week our teacher was going to be out of town he asked if we could get a group together to go to lunch and just discuss the gospel together This same week he was fired for falsifying sales in our office He wasn t lying to steal money, he was boarding fake sales so that everyone would think he was a better salesperson than he really was I know he rubbed some people the wrong way while he worked there, but I d never had a problem with him personally After he was fired I felt bad because I knew he wouldn t be able to come to institute any and face everyone who knew what he d been let go for doing I never saw him again, but I found out later that he and his wife divorced and he became the leader of a prominent LGBT anti LDS Church movement in Utah I caught up on his life online, and saw that he had been treated badly by his family and the church even if some of it was just his perception when they d found out he was gay He d come out earlier in life, then decided to be straight and get married, and then came out again if I understood correctly I also remember when he was fired, thinking, What has happened in his life that he would risk his job just so that he could get some acknowledgement and admiration from other people It all kind of makes sense now I don t think he s a dishonest guy, I think he was genuinely hurt and experienced a lot of pain in his life to be so desparate for approval from others.I turned on the TV a couple nights later right in the middle of an interview with the gay leader of the democrat party in Utah, discussing LGBT rights I looked him up online, and his campaign manager was none other than that same former co worker who once loved institute so much Interesting The universe keeps bringing this topic back to me, I swear.I am still very unclear on my feelings about homosexuality Maybe it is wrong to act out on these feelings at all, and the people who struggle with it are supposed to live celibate their whole lives just like other people who are straight but never find someone to marry in this life That second group isn t supposed to sleep with someone they re attracted to unless they re married to them, same deal But at least they get to date and TRY to find a partner I don t know that I would live a celibate life Actually, I m pretty sure I would do the same thing that my gay friend from BYU did, and get out of here That probably speaksto my personal weaknesses that anything else, but it also makes me muchcompassionate and non judgemental towards anyone who is gay And I do believe people are sometimes born this way, but also that there are varying degrees of same gender attraction and some people can marry and have a family, even if they have this temptation Some can t It s what these people go through and what should be expected of them, and whether we should be so pointedly anti gay marriage that is a gray area for me This book has two sections the first by a very active LDS family whose gay son committed suicide The second is by a gay man in his twenties who is trying to live as an active LDS man, but is attracted to other men The first part went quickly, but the second part dragged a bit I guess I wanted to hear his life story what it was like to have these feelings as a child, when he realized he was gay, what he did when he had a brief period of acting out in the lifestyle, why he came back to church, etc However, it wasn t that It was a lot of philosophizing, sharing scripture stories and quotes by LDS leaders, personal revelation, talk about commandments that sort of stuff It was all good, don t get me wrong It was good in the same way General Conference is good It s great information, but it s hard to get super stoked about picking up the Ensign and reading another excitement filled talk by an old dude no matter how wise and right the old dude may be I did finish it, and I was glad I did It just took awhile The last bit of the book was the most meaningful to me, so I was glad I d stuck it out I don t know what else to say, other than I have changed from being weirded out by gay people as a teenager to not even remotely bothered by it any I am bothered by actions taken by gay people at times, but not by someone who has those feelings of attraction I also told my husband that I will never, ever be mad if he finds another woman attractive or if I catch him watching a pretty woman walk by I will be grateful for the fact that my husband is straight and likes women Really, it makes life less complicated in one aspect, and so I have learned to count my blessings Yes, my husband spends years in Iraq, but at least we have this straight thing going for us.To anyone who is gay you re still awesome That s my final opinion on the matter Good luck to you.PS The male model on the front cover is totally hot, even though you can t see his eyes That would annoy me if I was a gay guy trying to kick the habit, and every time I picked up the book I just saw a very attractive man For me however, it made me like the bookfun except when I thought that the guy on the cover could be gay Then I was sad for all of womankind


  9. Drew Graham Drew Graham says:

    The issue of homosexuality in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is growing in openness Unfortunately, some leaders of the Church and especially some LDS authors simply are not educated enough to address the real issue This book is like a gay sensitivity seminar, and if anything, is encouraging homosexuality Our feelings can change every day, it all depends on what we decide to give into or dwell on This book pretends to be about unconditional love, but what it s really about is The issue of homosexuality in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints is growing in openness Unfortunately, some leaders of the Church and especially some LDS authors simply are not educated enough to address the real issue This book is like a gay sensitivity seminar, and if anything, is encouraging homosexuality Our feelings can change every day, it all depends on what we decide to give into or dwell on This book pretends to be about unconditional love, but what it s really about is arguing for a weakness, which any of us could do about any weakness This isn t true charity at all, because you re not caring about the person s spiritual well being if you re sympathizing with their weakness What makes homosexuality so different from any other weakness It s just an addiction It s not who a person is, it s not part of who a person is A person s sexual orientation has nothing to do with who a person is It s based entirely on self identification and behavior People CAN change, if they want to, which this book refuses to consider Change is what Christianity is all about, and this book, by denying that people can change, is denying Christ It is of extreme importance to learn to separate a person s worth from his behavior, thoughts or feelings I m sure the authors were well intentioned, but I m afraid and this may as well go for the church in general , that they were just not educated enough about the subject to really say anything of truth or value They were really close to a sad experience, leading to a sentimental, emotion based response, and they didn t use the infinite Atonement It s also really shameful that they would exploit their mentally unstable son and his suicide in an attempt to raise him up as some kind of martyr or shining example of righteousness.Shame on Deseret Book for publishing such biased, weak, Godless and non Christ centered propaganda For some non sentimental, non self seving truth on the subject, see transcripts on Homosexuality What Works and What Doesn t Work by Dr Jeff Robinson and Homosexuality The Innate Immutability Argument Finds No Basis in Science by Byrd and Cox


  10. Dare Johnson Dare Johnson says:

    I really wanted to like this book but unless one is a fervent Latter Day Saint, one will likely find somewhat tiresome Ty s frequent deferences to the established authority of the Mormon Scriptures and church presidents and leaders This book is largely an apologetic addressed to other Mormons, both those who may be struggling with same sex attraction and those who may be judgmental towards those in the Church who are struggling Due to the primacy of his faith, Ty s own felt needs must be sub I really wanted to like this book but unless one is a fervent Latter Day Saint, one will likely find somewhat tiresome Ty s frequent deferences to the established authority of the Mormon Scriptures and church presidents and leaders This book is largely an apologetic addressed to other Mormons, both those who may be struggling with same sex attraction and those who may be judgmental towards those in the Church who are struggling Due to the primacy of his faith, Ty s own felt needs must be subjugated to his theological beliefs As a result, this book contains a rather emotionless, cognitively oriented argument in favor of understanding and accepting same gender attraction without ever giving in to it I believe that Ty is a good and sincere man trying his darndest to integrate his Mormon Christian beliefs with his same sex attractions He tries to reconcile the two, and his book is likely most helpful for the homophobic church member who has zero empathy for those who struggle with same sex attraction but not as helpful for the same gender attracted individual who may be less theologically inclined


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