[PDF] ✈ Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying ⚣ Sallie Tisdale – Natus-physiotherapy.co.uk

Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying Sallie Tisdale Offers A Thought Provoking, Yet Practical Perspective On Death And Dying Informed By Her Many Years Working As A Nurse, Withthan A Decade In Palliative Care, She Provides A Frank, Direct, And Compassionate Meditation On The Inevitable


10 thoughts on “Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying

  1. says:

    As the title of her current book makes clear, Sallie Tisdale is a provocative writer who likes to address uncomfortable even taboo subjects that many prefer to avoid If you can get past the blunt, weirdly funny, and challenging title of this book, you ll be okay with the contents an interesting mix of personal stories, practical advice to assist you in preparing for your own death or caring for a dying loved one, details about the actual process of dying the changes in the body at various s As the title of her current book makes clear, Sallie Tisdale is a provocative writer who likes to address uncomfortable even taboo subjects that many prefer to avoid If you can get past the blunt, weirdly funny, and challenging title of this book, you ll be okay with the contents an interesting mix of personal stories, practical advice to assist you in preparing for your own death or caring for a dying loved one, details about the actual process of dying the changes in the body at various stages, including the time after the death has occurred , information about options for the disposal of the body, and reflections on grief There are four appendices, which address making death plans, advance directives, organ and tissue donation, and assisted death.Tisdale has lived a braided life as a writer, a nurse end of life educator, and Buddhist practitioner teacher, and each of these roles has required her to confront hard truths Since childhood, she says, she has been fascinated with bodies and anatomy, and her rural upbringing brought her into regular contact with death, both human and animal.Early in her book, Tisdale, who was born in 1957, muses We ve been a most fortunate generation and also one of the most delusional We are energetically trying not to be as old as we are, to not look old, feel old, and most of all, to not be perceived as old She goes on to observe that her Buddhist practice has required her to confront the fact that we and everyone we love are constantly changing and will die Throughout the book, Tisdale refers to a number of writers, scholars, and memoirists who have addressed aspects of death and dying from American cultural anthropologist Ernest Becker author of The Denial of Death, 1973 to health journalist Virginia Morris Talking about Death Won t Kill You, 2001 and Australian writer memoirist melanoma patient Cory Taylor, among many others I do wish Tisdale had included a bibliography For me, the most valuable part of Tisdale s book was her discussion of the changes the dying person undergoes and what caregivers can do and say to make him or hercomfortable She s very direct about what family and friends should not do, including burden the patient with their own guilt, grief, and need for consolation I wish I d had some of this information available to me as I helped to care for a member of my own family who was terminally ill.While some topics arethoroughly addressed than others, this is still a rich and worthwhile book It is worth pushing oneself past the title and reading this guide, especially in an age in which the lives of terminally ill and demented patients can be uncomfortably and futilely extended by modern technologies


  2. says:

    Everything you always wanted to know about dying, mostly Interesting, yes And a great tonic for those of you into denial and delay you get D for effort It suffered a bit from some repetition, yes And the part about Tisdale being Buddhist didn t get as much attention as I wished But the cool part came in the final chapters, especially about what happens to your body in the final hours, and what happens to your body once it has crossed and gee, I wish there were an exclusive chapter on Everything you always wanted to know about dying, mostly Interesting, yes And a great tonic for those of you into denial and delay you get D for effort It suffered a bit from some repetition, yes And the part about Tisdale being Buddhist didn t get as much attention as I wished But the cool part came in the final chapters, especially about what happens to your body in the final hours, and what happens to your body once it has crossed and gee, I wish there were an exclusive chapter on euphemisms , and what you must and must not do when you are a caretaker helping a loved one during her his final months weeks days hours minutes.It s good to know, at least, that you do not need a funeral home s services And that you can fire doctors who work for you, remember If you want to be cremated, your corpse can go direct say, to a crematorium without passing GO er, STOP and paying 250 er, 2,5000 And there s a look at the newfangled latest composting yourself among other ways to dispense with bodies as well as a glance at what various cultures do with them though it s not exhaustive.The best part are the appendices Checklists, questions, key info for your loved ones and mostly you Think about it Fill it out It s your life It s your death Which is part of your life, so think about your poor body The legacy,an abstraction, is a lifetime in the making, but the body is real and needs to be dealt with the way YOU want it dealt with One hopes


  3. says:

    I admit the title is what drew me to this book I continued reading because it is an unsentimental, non religious, practical look at death and dying As the author points out, birth and death are the two experiences that every living creature shares, that no one can practice for, and that are the big mysteries of existence.In case you think this is a depressing book, it is not Realistic advice on how to control what you can, and make dying easier for yourself and others.


  4. says:

    I ve never felt better Last Words of Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, the road to death is paved with platitudes Nigel BarleyI know this will likely sound maudlin, I promise you I m a joyful person, but I ve been thinking a lot about death in the last few years, especially after my Father died, and as with everything in my life, I try to find answers, or at the very least a path to understanding, through books This was an eye opening one filled with t I ve never felt better Last Words of Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, the road to death is paved with platitudes Nigel BarleyI know this will likely sound maudlin, I promise you I m a joyful person, but I ve been thinking a lot about death in the last few years, especially after my Father died, and as with everything in my life, I try to find answers, or at the very least a path to understanding, through books This was an eye opening one filled with the practical and the emotional, the intimate and the spiritual and it illuminated some previously dark corners.The author is a nurse, end of life educator, Buddhist practitioner and teacher and explains how these strands have given her a measure of equanimity about the inevitable sea of change that is human life With equal parts compassion and frankness, she addresses among other things what it means to die a good death, what to say and not to say, last months, weeks, days and hours what happens to a body after death and what can be the all consuming grief.Over and above all that I learned, I really appreciated the appendices preparing a death plan, advance directives, organ and tissue donation and assisted death Not subjects we want to address, but necessary because none of us is getting out of here alive We forget that love and loss are intimate companions, that we love the real flower so muchthan the plastic one, love the evanescence of autumn s brilliant colors, the cast of twilight across a mountainside lasting only a moment It is this very fragility that opens our hearts.I read this with a nonfiction book club and the meeting turned out to be such an interesting experience and it reminded me how little we know of the often painful road each of us travels in our lives If I d known people better, I would have demanded a group hug at the end of our discussion Grief is a story that must be told, over and over Grief is the breath after the last one.Recommended if you re willing to face some grim realities with a little bit of humor and a large does of kindness from a wise teacher


  5. says:

    An excellent addition to the shelf of life and the challenges thereof somewhere between How Can I Help and Montaigne s essays, between Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Ram Dass an examination both personal and philosophical If the factual information, about the process of dying, the funeral business and its options, palliative care vs hospice care, there is also the for memoving and valuable discussion of the good death, one that upsets our commonly held notions and challenges us to re An excellent addition to the shelf of life and the challenges thereof somewhere between How Can I Help and Montaigne s essays, between Elizabeth Kubler Ross and Ram Dass an examination both personal and philosophical If the factual information, about the process of dying, the funeral business and its options, palliative care vs hospice care, there is also the for memoving and valuable discussion of the good death, one that upsets our commonly held notions and challenges us to reimagine, and often surprisingly reassures us, about those final months, weeks and days, through the extensive time she has had to consider her own impressions as a palliative care nurse, as a Buddhist and simply as a person with a certain amount of time on this earth She writes beautifully and I love the way this book is balanced between the practical and the philosophical, insights for us in our various life roles, which include being the dying person, the loved ones, the caregiver, the visitor, the well wisher, and the physicians Here s a bit on the subject of the good death , which for me was the most valuable theme of the book To provide a good death, the caregivers must do for for the patient, not to the patient She is not a disease or a collection of symptoms or a problem needing a solution I was really annoyed by an essay by an obviously young neurologist who write that hospice doctors are the artists of death No, my friend The dying person is the artist of his or her death


  6. says:

    A wonderfully philosophical and yet tongue in cheek reflection on what needs to be done at the end of life Wonderfully practical, this treatise written by a palliative care nurse and Zen Buddhist, provides authentic information of how to handle a body when it has deceased and explains the person s final symptoms in his her waning days and what it means It also is a joyous affirmation on how to live As someone who volunteers with hospice patients, I found it wonderfully informative and would b A wonderfully philosophical and yet tongue in cheek reflection on what needs to be done at the end of life Wonderfully practical, this treatise written by a palliative care nurse and Zen Buddhist, provides authentic information of how to handle a body when it has deceased and explains the person s final symptoms in his her waning days and what it means It also is a joyous affirmation on how to live As someone who volunteers with hospice patients, I found it wonderfully informative and would be useful for programs dedicated to training volunteers or simply to anyone who wants to be open and make their own independent decisions about their final hours Not for the faint of heart, but those who are full of heart


  7. says:

    I was intrigued by the title From it I expected information on the funerals and burials, how they work and what the options are Most of the book is comprised of the author s experiences with the death of family and friends and her observations from her nursing career With the exception of Chapter 10 and the appendicies, my expectations were not met.One of her themes is that death is normal We all do it at some time A dying person may not communicate and may show no signs of pain or internal I was intrigued by the title From it I expected information on the funerals and burials, how they work and what the options are Most of the book is comprised of the author s experiences with the death of family and friends and her observations from her nursing career With the exception of Chapter 10 and the appendicies, my expectations were not met.One of her themes is that death is normal We all do it at some time A dying person may not communicate and may show no signs of pain or internal turmoil There are references to Buddhist, Hindi, Jewish and Islamic death customs I do not recall a Christian citation, perhaps there are too many to notice or the author feels audience for this book is already informed.There is a lot of advice for those caring for the dying most of which was not helpful For example pp 71 75 has many examples of what not to say to a dying person with no examples of what to say The sections ends with p.75 They will sort it out, and so will you Chapter 10 had what I was looking for There was information on embalming, restorative embalming, decomposition, recomposition, natural burial, cremation, burial at sea and donating parts and or the whole body to research The Funeral Customs Alliance is noted as being helpful.The Appendix has a Death Plan which is a form for your survivors stating your wishes on everything from life support desires to disposition of your estate There is information on Advance Directions , Organ and Tissue Donation Assisted death is covered with samples of what legislation CA, CO, MT, NM are WA are cited as of the writing comprises Canada s legislation shows to have covered the most issues and contingencies.I am not sure who I would recommend this book for The narratives can provoke thought if you are caring for someone near death I think the useful information could be edited into a 23 30 page guide


  8. says:

    Well, this made me think about death eventhan I usually do, but I found Tisdale s thoughts on it and on the process of dying to be helpful and sometimes illuminating.I have no doubt that all of this would resonate evenwith someone either suffering from a terminal illness or helping someone else through the last stages of their life, but even from my relatively fortunate angle, this provoked me to consider, and sometimes reconsider, what I think makes a good death, what role a funer Well, this made me think about death eventhan I usually do, but I found Tisdale s thoughts on it and on the process of dying to be helpful and sometimes illuminating.I have no doubt that all of this would resonate evenwith someone either suffering from a terminal illness or helping someone else through the last stages of their life, but even from my relatively fortunate angle, this provoked me to consider, and sometimes reconsider, what I think makes a good death, what role a funeral plays, what body disposal technique would suit me, and what the cultural, environmental, and personal impacts of various end of life practices are I don t think I ll reread this, but it was a solidly good thing to have ruminated over all this There s a lot I didn t know the low bar for something to legally qualify as hospice, the difference between hospice care and palliative care, that there s a new technique that will freeze your body and then vibrate it into ice crystals Sold Something that Tisdale quietly and persistently evokes is that there s no simple answer to any of this You can have a bad death at home surrounded by your family what happens if you don t want to be surrounded by your family If their love makes it hard for you to actually take the necessary step of dying and a good death in a hospital Bodies decay or are squirm inducingly destroyed, and that s unavoidable, no matter how you choose to have yours gotten rid of You can think you know exactly how someone you love wants to die, and you could be entirely wrong about that, and maybe in a way that would have hurt them.There really is a practicality at the heart of a lot of this Tisdale lays out pros and cons of different practices, includes the emotional aspects in that calculation, and explains her own reactions The clarity of those sections, even when what s being made clear is ultimately that this is all impossibly ambiguous, made them my favorites For me the parts where Tisdale talks about how to interact with the dying were less helpful, in part because it all seemed to boil down to just let them do and say what they want and, by the way, 95% of the things you ll want to say will be wrong and unhelpful Some of it was obvious but concrete and sadly still necessary don t tell someone their loved one s death is God s will or the result of their karma but some of it gets into a kind of amorphous, nitpicky vagueness that to me seemed to be making an impossible demand for the caretaking person to foresee all possible reactions to every word out of their mouth This got a little repetitive after a while, because these particular issues never really changed.But the practical side of things is genuinely helpful, because it makes you consider issues you might as well start resolving with your loved ones now finding out what they want, working out what you want The death plan and guidelines on advance directives in the back were particularly helpful in that regard I didn t find as much profundity here as many reviewers did, but I still found plenty to value


  9. says:

    I have had a weird half decade I ve been thinking a lot about the afterlife It turns out that half of me okay with mystery and the other half of me is definitely not So I ve been trying to look these things in the face, and consider and meditate on them.This book is really something special Hard, beautiful, honest You will cry, from sadness and beauty and recognition You will be upset You will be soothed Tisdale is truly a special thinker and beautiful writer.


  10. says:

    Information, advice and personal stories about death, dying, grief and even body disposal practices around the world A bit of a hodgepodge, and some parts felt like they neededdiscussion and fewer do don t lists, but still a nice antidote to the broad denial of death that seems to characterize so much of Western or at least American culture.


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