Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful ePUB È

  • Paperback
  • 294 pages
  • Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful
  • Anthony Ravenscroft
  • English
  • 10 December 2015
  • 9781890109530

8 thoughts on “Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful

  1. Annamarie Annamarie says:

    While trying to catch up on listening to Polyamory Weekly I am horribly behind still working through 2007 I heard a discussion of Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful by Anthony Ravenscroft Those involved in the discussion seemed to be put off by the author but still found a decent number of helpful tidbits throughout I have to say I agree Ravenscroft is sharp and has clearly spent a lot of time observing people and relationships His commentary on poly dynamics is really dead on; I found countless situations that I've experienced or witnessed reflected in his writing There is no campaigning for polyamory no sweeping the difficult aspects under the carpet He presents polyamory as another valid relationship option not a superior one and fully acknowledges almost obsessively the tricky dynamics that can be involved Ravenscroft encourages his readers to take the time to think about the possibilities that aren't pleasant the negative conseuences the potential pitfalls etc While this can feel pretty depressing I think it is a good suggestion to help prevent being blindsided when a relationship doesn't go uite as planned And really how often do relationships follow our happy little scripts? He is blunt to a fault and this line pretty much sums up his writingI prefer prickly honesty over the ticking time bomb of dishonest comfort He doesn't pull any punches and that's rather refreshingAs with most books I don't agree with him on everything His perspective on safer sexcondom use doesn't match my experience at all to him trust in a partner should be enough that we shouldn't need to specifically lay out our safer sex plans to the point where he categorizes people who make a big deal about safer sex condom usage specifically as fear mongers using their superior ethics to get partners while not actually being any likely to strictly practice what they preach This may be because my primary experience has been within the BDSM and ueer communities but that part of the book did not ring true at all At the beginning of the book Ravenscroft admits to his blatant bias he's a heterosexual white guy and that's the only perspective he knows You will not find much if any discussion of same sex relationships other than girlfriends of his female partners or raceclass issues Despite this there are a ton of good ideas and they are written in a very down to earth style I especially appreciate his emphasis on not trying out poly because it's different or cool and on taking the time before you jump into poly to develop your relationship skills and good deep friendships Be forewarned however the author's ego is readily apparent throughout the book By the end you'll be very aware of how good his communication skills are and how well he satisfies his partners in bed Every once in a while I had to put the book down to get away from the self aggrandizement This and the unbelievably tiny print were why it took me so long to make it all the way through If your eyesight isn't great get out the reading glasses a magnifying glass or campaign for a digital version so you can increase the font size All in all I would recommend this to anyone who is tired of the fluff written about alternative relationship styles and who tends towards the snarky side of life This is definitely one to add to any collection of books on nonmonogamy and polyamory just prepare to stifle your gag reflex when the author waxes on about himself

  2. N N says:

    This book is bizarre The author seems to genuinely know a lot about polyamory and he has the sort of inuiring mind that lends itself to interesting discussion But The book has an inescapable air of “here are my thoughts on yaoi” to borrow a phrase The author also gives advice that I find mildly insane Example you should spend some time thinking long and hard about all the ways that your lover might hurt you so that you are not blindsided when the worst happens I am no proponent of ‘The Secret’ but I still think positive thinking is probably better than needless worryingI might finish reading this at some point but I do not feel especially inclined to do so Please note the book’s font size is painfully small which hardly an incentive to read

  3. Alexander Alexander says:

    Brilliant book a must read for people of all relationships mono poly or other

  4. Bri Bri says:

    This is the worst book on polyamory I ever tried to read I bought it in about 2005 when there was still not much out there yet especially in the way of research or expertise The author acknowledges this in his introduction but takes the approach that since there are no experts he’s as good a person to write a book as any And that he won’t spend time boring you with data Is that a red flag yet? It should beWhat follows is a journey through one man’s narrow perspective presented as if it were universal truth Even the tongue in cheek tone isn’t enough to save it from serious problems with presenting personal anecdotal experience like it’s fact riddled with condescension and self aggrandizement In his further reading section he notes that he has not read the Ethical Slut but lists it anyway because it was suggested to him Yeah he didn’t even read one of the better books that was actually available at that timeIt’s the only book I have ever recycled instead of donating because letting it go free into the world seemed irresponsible like a bomb waiting to explode with inaccurate impressions for the unsuspecting reader new to this subjectBut you don’t have to take my word for it Here are some excerpts—1 Remember that piece about not being boring by referring to any data?“Let me pull up some observable demographics If a given person identities with the term polyamorous chances are that she or he is a citizen of the United States raised in a middle class household by a nominally Christian family with moderate to poor communication skills where folks were loving and supportive but not great at showing how they felt Not so long ago I would've stated that 95% of people who know the word polyamory and apply it to themselves would be purebred European stock but that has changed in recent years and I'd say it's now relatively safe to guess 75% He or she is most likely of high intelligence has spent two or three years in college is conversant in technology and the Internet and has distinct entrepreneurial and artistic leanings This person is probably a self described bisexual though recent sexual experience with lovers of both genders may be lacking They love the members of the family into which they were born but are probably not out to them and have found that a few visits per year seems to leave everyone an adeuate comfort zone; given an opportunity they prefer to live in a different city from their parents As far as jobs they aren't usually very career oriented though they sometimes seem to stumble into long term job situations by sheer force of their overall curiosity and competence In fact their job status and income level might seem to be inversely proportional to their education A distinct subgroup does exist these are members of the Society for Creative Anachronism avid readers far than the 2 to 6 books per year variously estimated as average for people in the United States especially of the science fiction and fantasy genres and professing the Wiccan religion or a sort of Earth centered optimistic agnosticism The reason such a cluster exists is simple enough someone who is willing to go public about being slightly outside of the mainstream as with dressing up in medieval garb to attend SCA events for instance is likely than the general population to consider other non mainstream lifestyle choices as potential options This expansive tendency doesn't necessarily go both ways there are plenty of people who live in what could be called a polyamorous fashion but are extremely unadventurous; to put it another way being open minded and curious tends to lead toward nonmonogamy but the reverse doesn't seem to hold at all well “2 I’m just going to leave this here“69 Time out sex has limits Sex demands energy and it gives energy I once had a persistent case of bronchitis and I was amused to notice that I could make love with my partner very strenuously sometimes for two hours with absolutely no trouble other than a little minor wheezing But like clockwork I would go into spasmodic coughing shortly after orgasm On an emotional level great sex frightens many people A woman who considers herself not very sexual a conclusion reached from lack of exposure to both the affectional and erotic possibilities of sexual interaction might appear to cool toward her lover after an extraordinary sexual experience Yes I've had this happen a few times and I was startled to discover the cause as my other lovers would have considered my skills to be above average but hardly a transformative experience Still if your lover is used to rather second rate sex and you are very attentive and in the moment this might be a bit of a shock to his or her system The cooling off reaction is an attempt to step back for the sake of objectivity and have a long think When I uizzed one lover she explained that it had been such a change from how things had been during her married years that she'd been flooded with nagging uestions about all that wasted time and whether her attitudes toward sex hadn't been seriously damaged She wanted time to think these things over rather than either attach this upset to me or bury the feelings altogether “—Bottom line Avoid this book If you see someone else reading it carefully remove it from their hands and redirect them to something by Clementine Morrigan Meg John Barker Tikva Wolf Tristan Taormino Kevin Patterson Elisabeth Sheff or Kim Tallbear to name a few

  5. Cathy Cathy says:

    Even if polyamory is not your thing this book offers a lot of useful advice that could potentially help any relationship become soundRavenscroft doesn't hide the fact that he is a white middle class man and that he can only truly speak from that point of view but he is also thoughtful logical and has interacted with a great variety of people which gives breadth to his personal limitations

  6. Keely Hyslop Keely Hyslop says:

    Ick rather unhelpful The writer is a Caucasian upper middle class man who can't seem to manage any advice that would be useful to anyone who isn't It does; however give you an interesting overview of the politicking of the polyamory community and a guideline of sorts for becoming part of a larger polyamory network By and large The Ethical Slut is a much friendly all purpose reference on this topic

  7. Rafał Rzepecki Rafał Rzepecki says:

    Highly recommended to everyone interested in building human relationships even if you're not interested in polyamory at all Well written manual on communication and conflict solving in the context of romance and

  8. Tim Knight Tim Knight says:

    It was a read one I'll have to read again at a later time

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Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful❮BOOKS❯ ⚣ Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful Author Anthony Ravenscroft – Natus-physiotherapy.co.uk Tony Ravenscroft leaves behind the speculation the guesswork and the Utopianism that only confuse the discussion Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful begins from the absolute basics of intimate Tony Ravenscroft leaves behind the for the PDF Ê speculation the guesswork and the Utopianism that only confuse the discussion Polyamory Roadmaps for the Clueless Hopeful begins from the absolute basics of intimate relationships and clearly lays out the pitfalls and problems that await everyone Polyamory Roadmaps PDF \ who embarks upon this difficult and highly rewarding way of life Polyamory the book is for everyone with any interest in the subject Whether you're merely curious or already embroiled in a complex responsibly nonmonogamous life you will find a greater understanding Roadmaps for the PDF/EPUB ✓ of what is going on Even if you are happily married for the rest of your life you will improve your relationships with the other people in your life Even a book this large can only hope to answer half your uestions Tony Ravenscroft does that and shows you how to find your own answers for the rest.